Greg and Rob’s wedding was certainly one to remember. I’m glad to hear it’s memory will live on in the pages of The Aisle Guide magazine. Thanks to the lovely humans at Run Away With Me Weddings for coordinating this one. It’s always a pleasure to work with such pros. I’m proud to have been a part of this special event. Read the article here.
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When Should We Do Our First Dance?
I get this question a lot. I think it used to be pretty standard to do it after dinner, and before dancing. But it has become popular in recent years to do it right when the newlyweds enter the dining room. This is a nice touch, especially when paired with a grand entrance. You have everyone’s undivided attention, and it sets a romantic tone for the reception ahead. Not to mention, it was once tradition that no one could dance until the newlyweds do, so this opens up the dance floor right off the bat for those traditionalists who may want to practice some dance moves during dinner.
Ultimately, there is no right or wrong time and place for your first dance. It’s going to be a very special moment, regardless. But it can also be a useful tool to help corral your guests, which is necessary in some circumstances. Let’s say your dinner and dancing are in 2 separate areas, and you need to get your guests to move into the dancing room after speeches are done in the dining room. You want this to happen quickly and efficiently, and announcing that the first dance will be taking place in there in just a minute is a sure way to make that happen. You can use cake cutting or parent dances for this transition as well, but the first dance has much more of an obligatory ring to it. Plus, not everyone does parent dances these days. And cake cutting might happen in the dining room. So you must take other events on your timeline into consideration when making a decision like this. It may not seem like a big deal, but I’ve done enough weddings and seen enough clunky transitions to warrant writing this post.
Another note worth mentioning, with regards to the first dance, is the timing. Hang in there for the full song, or at least 3 minutes, whichever comes first. A lot of couples tell me they’re nervous about being up there in front of everyone for too long, but 3 minutes flies by in a moment like that. You want your photographer to take a lot of good photos of it, so the longer you stay up there, the more photos they’ll get. It’s also one of the few moments of the day that you’ll really get to embrace each other and have a conversation, uninterrupted. If you’re nervous because you’re not a good dancer, then practice, or get lessons. It’s a big moment, and you’re going to want to pay special attention to it.
I wouldn’t say the same for parent dances. Not that they’re not special, but a lot of parents don’t want to be up there dancing for too long, and some simply aren’t able to stand or dance for long periods of time. But what I will suggest about the parent dance, is that you don’t try to anticipate the length in advance. Just get up there and dance, and If you’re feeling done with it before the song is over, give your parent a hug and walk off the dance floor. The DJ will fade the music at the appropriate time. A lot of people tell me “cut the song after 1 minute, my parent won’t want to be up there for too long”, but then they get in this conversation and beautiful moment, and it’s not something I want to interrupt by fading the music early. So just wing it. If your DJ is paying attention, as they should be, they’ll know when to fade.
I hope this helps. If you’re still unsure about any of this, refer to your wedding planner or day-of coordinator, and your DJ. They’ll help you make the right decisions with your timeline. And if you don’t have a day-of coordinator, get one. Otherwise, you’ll wish you had, and it will be too late then. I have some great ones I can recommend, if you’d like.
Song Selections for your Big Day!
Your wedding day is one of the most important and memorable days of your life, and to many, the music played is one of the most important aspects of that day. The plan is to only do it once, so you must get it right the first time. With everything else that goes into planning a wedding, music selection can be an overwhelming task. I get asked quite often for some help getting the process started. So I’ve come up with a formula to do just that. It’s a snowball, hopefully these hints will help get it rolling.
Make an event of it. Devote an evening to your music selection process. Give yourself at least 2 or 3 hours, and sit down on a Sunday evening with a bottle of wine and some snacks, and your laptop open.
Go back to school. Think about songs that remind you of High School and College. There are many good memories from those years, and lots of good songs attached. Google search the Billboard charts from those years, it’s sure to spark some memories.
What are you listening to lately? What radio stations do you listen to, be they AM, FM, satellite, internet, or other? What have you been searching for or listening to on Pandora, Spotify, etc.? What music have you purchased? Check your iTunes or Amazon Music purchase history for help here.
What concerts have you attended together?
What movies do you love the music from, even if it’s for silly reasons?
Remember your family is going to be there, so think of songs that remind you of childhood, or songs that have childhood memories attached. If there is an artist that you and your siblings used to dress up like and pretend to be, include some of their songs in your list. These will make for some great moments on the dance floor.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to your guests for some input. If you have a wedding website, put a page on there where guests can submit a few requests. If no website, send an email to your guests asking for no more than 5 requests. That way you know they gave some good thought to their top picks, and won’t bombard you with songs. Getting requests in advance prepares your DJ to execute a perfect set with perfect timing. Taking requests the night of can be tricky and can really throw your DJ off course. Typically there are only about 2 hours of dancing at a wedding, so no time to waste.
Every crowd is different, and you know your crowd better than your DJ does. So do your best to prep your DJ and let them know who they’re playing for. Where are your guests are from (originally and currently, both helpful). What age groups and what percentage of each age group will be there, are there lots of kids, is there a theme they’ve been told to adhere to? These are all helpful hints for your DJ to know who they’re going to be playing for.
We've talked a lot about dancing, but don’t discount Cocktail Hour and Dinner music. These are the times during which you can be very creative and experimental, and select songs that your guests might not be familiar with, but are special to you. Familiarity of the music is important during dancing, if you want to keep them interested, but no so much during dinner. In fact, unfamiliar songs can make for good table conversation. Cocktail hour is another time you can be more creative with your selections, but know that nobody really listens to the music during cocktail hour. They’re busy mingling and drinking, the music is just a backdrop. But you do want that backdrop to have a pulse, so pick songs that are upbeat and fun.
Sidenote: Spotify is a great way to share playlists with each other, and with your DJ or band. You can create different playlists for each portion of the evening (cocktails, dinner, dancing, etc.) and add to them as you wish, and your DJ can refer to that when putting together their setlist for the day.
Cheers!