I get this question a lot. I think it used to be pretty standard to do it after dinner, and before dancing. But it has become popular in recent years to do it right when the newlyweds enter the dining room. This is a nice touch, especially when paired with a grand entrance. You have everyone’s undivided attention, and it sets a romantic tone for the reception ahead. Not to mention, it was once tradition that no one could dance until the newlyweds do, so this opens up the dance floor right off the bat for those traditionalists who may want to practice some dance moves during dinner.
Ultimately, there is no right or wrong time and place for your first dance. It’s going to be a very special moment, regardless. But it can also be a useful tool to help corral your guests, which is necessary in some circumstances. Let’s say your dinner and dancing are in 2 separate areas, and you need to get your guests to move into the dancing room after speeches are done in the dining room. You want this to happen quickly and efficiently, and announcing that the first dance will be taking place in there in just a minute is a sure way to make that happen. You can use cake cutting or parent dances for this transition as well, but the first dance has much more of an obligatory ring to it. Plus, not everyone does parent dances these days. And cake cutting might happen in the dining room. So you must take other events on your timeline into consideration when making a decision like this. It may not seem like a big deal, but I’ve done enough weddings and seen enough clunky transitions to warrant writing this post.
Another note worth mentioning, with regards to the first dance, is the timing. Hang in there for the full song, or at least 3 minutes, whichever comes first. A lot of couples tell me they’re nervous about being up there in front of everyone for too long, but 3 minutes flies by in a moment like that. You want your photographer to take a lot of good photos of it, so the longer you stay up there, the more photos they’ll get. It’s also one of the few moments of the day that you’ll really get to embrace each other and have a conversation, uninterrupted. If you’re nervous because you’re not a good dancer, then practice, or get lessons. It’s a big moment, and you’re going to want to pay special attention to it.
I wouldn’t say the same for parent dances. Not that they’re not special, but a lot of parents don’t want to be up there dancing for too long, and some simply aren’t able to stand or dance for long periods of time. But what I will suggest about the parent dance, is that you don’t try to anticipate the length in advance. Just get up there and dance, and If you’re feeling done with it before the song is over, give your parent a hug and walk off the dance floor. The DJ will fade the music at the appropriate time. A lot of people tell me “cut the song after 1 minute, my parent won’t want to be up there for too long”, but then they get in this conversation and beautiful moment, and it’s not something I want to interrupt by fading the music early. So just wing it. If your DJ is paying attention, as they should be, they’ll know when to fade.
I hope this helps. If you’re still unsure about any of this, refer to your wedding planner or day-of coordinator, and your DJ. They’ll help you make the right decisions with your timeline. And if you don’t have a day-of coordinator, get one. Otherwise, you’ll wish you had, and it will be too late then. I have some great ones I can recommend, if you’d like.